I surely must be at a strange juncture of my life when YouTube recommends this to me, when Amazon sends me an e-mail saying “These are movies you may be interested in buying” and they are all Jennifer Aniston movies (of which I’ve already seen), and the only time I celebrity gossip with others is when a customer comes through my line to talk about Jennifer Aniston’s dating life (of which I’ve followed since she broke up with Brad and she’s no longer dating that guy she was dating before; I already forget his name).
I’m not trying to say I have a personality crush on Jennifer Aniston, I’m trying to say that there’s something about her that really endears me and I just get so sad for her every time I hear that she’s broken up with somebody, like she’s my neighbor or something.
“Ol’ Miss Aniston’s kicked that new beau out again. Yep, yep, I saw him drive his truck off the other day and she was playing Alanis Morrisette and Taylor Swift songs all day yesterday. I dropped off some cinnamon buns at her house and asked if she wanted to come over for drinks but she said no. God bless that woman” are things I feel, not over-exaggerations.
Jen, baby, I love you. I’ve been rooting for you, girl, and every time someone says to me “You know, after so many men, you’ve gotta think that there’s something wrong with her” I correct them and say “Maybe she’s waiting for perfection! She’s waiting for somebody else to get on her level because she knows exactly who she is and what she wants. SHE IS AN INSPIRATION TO ALL US WOMEN.”
I don’t actually say that.
But I think it.
