I feel as though there’s some kind of justice
or perhaps just a background music “Circle of Life” moment in which you find yourself on a high school crush’s Facebook — and I mean “crush” in the lightest sense, not even to the stage of “I once daydreamed about kissing your face” just “your features are nice, I guess” — and saying to yourself “Dude, this kid’s a mess.”
That’s what I’m doing on this fine Friday night.
Stalking dudes with nice features and telling myself they are messes. Not to make myself feel better, but just to tell the truth.
And to add some humor to the pot of “was I that lonely and horny in high school?”
Ashamed of your patheticness?
Make fun of dat shit.
Tell other people about it.
Hang it on the wall of shame in your heart.
But dear God, don’t just keep it to yourself. That’s a waste of some perfectly good material.
It’s the stuff high school anecdotes are built on.
