This semester is legitimately going to be FANtastic.
Which I think I deserve after last year’s spring semester. No sleep whatsoever and stress pushing me to the point of thinking I had jaw pain RE: wisdom teeth but was just jaw pain RE: tension while sleeping?
Imagine that? I couldn’t sleep at all those few months and the few hours I did get in each week, I was degrading my own teeth.
Rough stuff, dawg.
But this semester is exactly where it’s at and is exactly what I want to be doing.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays I only have one class from 4 to 5:15 so I get to use every other day as a sleep-in/homework day. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it’s probably just going to be a sleep-in day.
That’s awesome, nonetheless.
Today I woke up at noon and spent the waiting time before class listening to crappy mid-2000’s R&B. Mario, Frankie J, Ursher, and Omarion played all up in here and you best believe I jammed.
I don’t know about you, but this particular 24-hour section just felt like a good time to jam out to music you have on your iPod but hope others will overlook when they see you’ve got some kind of weird indie/ambient thing going on that they’re not refined enough to understand so clearly, there must be some deep reason behind these rando-top 40 R&B hits. And Ke$ha and LMFAO, for that matter.
I say this while listening to “This Is How We Do It.” On my USB speakers so I can turn it up real loud and neighbors can hear.
I’m not even ashamed. Not even sorry.
Anyway, so I got a little caught up in my music that I didn’t notice I had to make the first poop of the semester — which is actually super duper important — so allow me to reference you to this image:
The only unfortunate thing about this was I didn’t exactly have time in my schedule for the crapper so it made me a little late for my comedy film class.
Which was fine, first day, couple minutes late, that’s expected.
I knew which Hall my class was in, so I headed over there. I then looked at my schedule to tell me the room number because I wouldn’t even dream of carrying my schedule around in front of my face, who do you think I am, a freshman? Well, upon looking at my written copy, I’d realized I hadn’t copied down the room number.
For some reason, a voice in my head was telling me it was 113. Probably just because I felt pretty unlucky in that moment, but I listened.
I walked down the right side of the hallway and at first, didn’t even see 113. It went 110, 111, 112, ??? end.
I finally figured out this classroom had its own little crevice and upon peering through the window in the door, realized this was completely empty.
I exited the side door of the building and saw some classfull of kids, one of which was eyeing me like I’d just removed my sweater and had a Superman costume on.
Except he was a total Spider Man fan so he wasn’t looking at me in admiration, more with a holier than thou sass.
I slipped into the hall where I have English classes because I knew they had some emergency Macs I could use to look up my schedule real quick. I noted I was now about twenty minutes late.
After wrestling with the Mac mouse for a while — it won — I logged into my account and pulled up my schedule. The room number was 119.
I was sorta close…
I logged out, left the building, then went back to the side-door I’d just come out of.
That same kid was staring the shit out of me from the window.
“Dude, watch this class be my class and he’s watched me pass this shit at least four times in the last ten minutes. He has every right to stare at me like that if that’s the — yep.”
I opened the door and the professor immediately turned to look at me. He wasn’t mad, he had a face of joy.
“Excellent! Okay, okay, now. Stand right there, don’t move.”
Oh Jesus.
“Okay, now tell the class your name.”
Sure, I can do that. Maybe they just did some introductions while I was gone and now I had to share an interesting factoid or something. Something sincere, like “I hope this class will help me grow!!!1!!!!!1!”
“Hi, I’m Danielle,” I said. I neared towards a seat in the front but he stopped me in my tracks. “Nononono! For people who are late to my class, I make them tell a joke. You’re going to be our first joke of the year!”
A way to make a total ass of myself in a room full of people who don’t know me and a kid who was silently judging me because he must have somehow knew this was the room I was supposed to be in? …Actually, yeah, this is the kind of thing I live for, elementary school bullying callused and readied me for this moment, sure.
“Alright. Well. As you can see, I have the best sense of direction. Probably since, like, the historical great Christopher Columbus. I don’t plan to enslave anybody, though. Unless you’ve got something good.”
There was a pause where I was met with complete silence and I figured that, yep, they all thought I was a douche. But then the professor clapped and the class actually laughed at me. He told me to go sit down and complimented my sense of humor.
“That was very quick! I can tell you’re witty.”
At the risk of being the actual douche I didn’t want to be, I was actually pretty proud of myself.
Then we watched Much Ado About Nothing which is maybe my favorite Shakespeare comedy so I mean, I have little warm fuzzies about this class.
