I have this necessary evolutionary function ingrained in me,
almost like a knee-jerk reaction, that I have to say “bless you” after someone sneezes.
I guess that’s some pretty strong language for something so simple but I dunno, I just consider it polite, whether I believe in God or not.
I just want to acknowledge the fact that, hey, I heard you sneeze and in olden times, this would mean you’d be dying soon, and I consider myself to be an old-fashioned lady, so hey, bless your snootz (long -oo sound like in “book”).
Today, this girl in the back of the class sneezed pretty loud and dramatically. In that way you can tell they’re just trying to be heard. Or they never learned how to sneeze quietly. I ain’t gonna judge.
My response to those kinds of sneezes, though, is to say “GAWD BUH-LESS” in a somewhat Southern accent — aka poor and shoddy because weird accents is my thing — in an equally loud volume.
So I did that. Knee jerk reaction.
This guy next to me laughed fairly heartily and I felt somewhat accomplished so I turned to look at him.
I don’t know if I was expecting to reach some kind of mutual understanding of “Hey, you laughed at my joke. You got good taste” or if I was trying to figure out if he was attractive because if attractive people laugh at me, that must mean I’m cool, but it was imperative to look.
He was like a 6.5, in that conventional way jocks tend to look and people really like.
Not my type. But I was still flattered.
tl;dr I make jokes and I’m shallow. Arite, excellent.
